stupidity

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Iranian News Agency Duped by Onion Story
Iranian News Agency Duped by Onion Story
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Sep 30, 2012 12:23 PM CDT

Iranian News Agency Duped by Onion Story

It said rural whites prefer Ahmadinejad over Obama

(Newser) - When we saw this post from Iran's semi-official Fars News Agency, we were pretty confused. Gallup, the propaganda outlet reported, had released a poll showing that rural whites preferred Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to Barack Obama—in part because "they at least respected that Ahmadinejad doesn't try to hide...

Drunk Guy Who Tied Kids to Car: I Thought They'd Like It

Because who wouldn't? Plus, other tales from the bottle...

(Newser) - An Indiana man who thought it was a good idea to drunkenly strap four kids to the hood of his car and go on a three-block joy ride has pleaded guilty to several charges. Aaron Stefanski, 29 of Fort Wayne, was arrested in May after a witness called 911. Stefanski...

Clueless Kathie Lee Asks Martin Short How Dead Wife Is

Get ready to cringe at Gifford's awkward gaffe

(Newser) - Oof: Kathie Lee Gifford had quite the awkward moment yesterday on the Today show, when she asked Martin Short about his relationship with his wife—not realizing, or remembering, that his wife died in 2010. "And he and Nancy have one of the greatest marriages of anybody in show...

Drunk Grandparents Busted for Towing Girl in Toy Car

Florida couple told cops they were just having fun

(Newser) - It's probably going to be a long time before Paul and Belinda Berloni will be allowed to be in charge of a motor vehicle—or their granddaughter. The couple were arrested after Florida police spotted them in their SUV, driving at speeds of up to 10mph while towing the...

Woman Cuts in Drive-Thru Line, Gets Tased

Evangeline Lucca wasn't about to wait at McDonald's

(Newser) - It started with a mean Big Mac attack, and somehow ended along the lines of "don't Tase me, bro": A North Carolina woman shut down a McDonald's drive-thru for 20 minutes this week when she cut in line, reports the Fayetteville Observer . Seems Evangeline Lucca skipped past...

Busted Hubby: It Wasn't Me, a Ghost Beat My Wife

Michael West, 41, has been ordered to stay sober

(Newser) - A Wisconsin husband busted for beating his wife in a domestic dispute over finances offered a unique defense: "A ghost did it." Fond du Lac cops arrived at Michael West's home to find his wife, Rebecca, "crying very hard and bleeding from her nose," according...

7 Chicago Teens Charged in Beating Video on YouTube

Posted vicious attack on boy online

(Newser) - Brutality and stupidity isn't a charming combination, but it certainly makes things easier for the police. Seven Chicago teens are being charged over a YouTube video that shows a group of teens beating a 17-year-old in an alley, reports the Chicago Tribune . The teen is kicked, punched, and taunted...

Woman Fakes Own Kid's Death for Vacation Time

But Joan Barnett is done in by a shoddy fake death certificate

(Newser) - Today's lesson in stupid schemes: If you're going to scam your boss for vacation time with your kid's fake death certificate, at least make sure the fonts match. It seems one Joan Barnett, a parent coordinator at a Manhattan school who, it's worth noting, was eligible...

Man Calls 911 on Woman After Girlfriend Comes Home

He falsely reported her as a burglar, say cops

(Newser) - When 24-year-old Keith Gaylor called the cops to say that an armed burglar was trying to get into his house, five squad cars rushed to his house and made an arrest. But they released the suspect pretty fast after hearing her side of the story—they’re pretty sure that...

Westboro Announces Steve Jobs Protest— Via iPhone

Official says Steve Jobs targeted because he 'taught sin'

(Newser) - Westboro Baptist Church says it will picket Steve Jobs' funeral, but apparently God also hates irony: Leader Margie Phelps announced the protest via a Twitter announcement made on an iPhone. "The irony here is almost unbelievable," notes Josh Wolford on Web Pro News . Jobs' sin? Phelps tweeted...

Spelling Bee Certificate Fails at Spelling

Just look at the image

(Newser) - We present, for your snickering pleasure, this image of a rather dubious certificate, which was presented on Monday to junior high school student Emily White in honor of her victory in the "Dallas County Speling Bee." White, who has won the competition in three of the past five...

Burglars Pocket-Dial 911, Get Busted

Which is really inconvenient when you've got stolen property in the car

(Newser) - Don’t you just hate when you accidentally pocket-dial someone? Well, imagine that happened while you were planning burglaries—and the number you dialed happened to be 911. That’s what happened to three Syracuse men last week. An operator listened as the men discussed a spree of burglaries they...

Baffled Jury Acquits Guy for ‘Stealing’ 99-Cent Hot Dog

He paid for the rest of his groceries

(Newser) - The jury didn’t spend long considering the case of John Richardson, who was on trial for stealing a 99-cent hot dog. The chilling true crime tale goes like this: The Eastern Washington University student walked into a grocery store, grabbed a hot dog from the self-serve counter, and ate...

Bank Robber Left His ID With Teller
Bank Robber Left His ID
With Teller
DUMB CRIMINAL
Mar 21, 2011 5:52 PM CDT

Bank Robber Left His ID With Teller

...and got into 2 car accidents, 1 DUI, after leaving crime scene

(Newser) - It wasn't the crime of the century: Pennsylvania police say Daniel Rahynes handed over his driver's license to a bank teller in order to open an account, but whoops!, said he changed his mind and was actually there to rob the bank. The 35-year-old made off in a getaway car...

Opening a Door Gets Student Suspended


 Opening a Door 
 Gets Student 
 Suspended 
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Mar 6, 2011 7:30 AM CST

Opening a Door Gets Student Suspended

Middle school has strict security policy about doors to outside

(Newser) - A Virginia middle school student was suspended last week for the egregious offense of opening an exterior door for a visitor. No, it wasn’t a dangerous or unauthorized visitor—it was someone the student knew, who had her hands full. But the school has had a strict policy against...

Man Holds Up Jack in the Box, Comes Back for Lunch

Would-be robber foiled by appetite

(Newser) - Here's some criminal idiocy for you: A man was arrested in San Diego yesterday after returning to a Jack in the Box he'd allegedly tried to rob the day before. The man, 30-year-old Shawn Dustin Page, allegedly pulled a gun in the restaurant on Wednesday, but fled when the cashier...

Dad Accidentally Shoots Self, Son Does Same to Mom

...after beating her to the gun

(Newser) - You don't need two guns to cause two accidents. Just ask Allen Jones; on Saturday, the Alabama dad was carrying his .40 Glock from his car to the house when he tripped, fell, and accidentally shot himself in the leg, NBC 15 reports. His wife, Aleisha, was inside bathing their...

Ex-MADD Honcho Arrested for Drunk Driving
Ex-MADD Honcho Arrested for Drunk Driving
Irony alert
Feb 25, 2011 8:31 AM CST

Ex-MADD Honcho Arrested for Drunk Driving

Debra Oberlin, head of Gainesville chapter in the '90s, blew .239

(Newser) - Pro tip: If you’re going to crusade against drunk driving, you should probably avoid doing it yourself. Actually, you should probably avoid doing it regardless. But these lessons were lost on Debra Oberlin, the former head of the Gainesville, Fla., chapter of Mothers Against Drunk Driving. The 48-year-old was...

Cockfighting Rooster Stabs, Kills Man

Victim Jose Luis Ochoa fled, later died from calf wound

(Newser) - A recent cockfight in California killed five roosters … and one man. Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, died after being stabbed in the right calf by the blade attached to one of the fighting birds, the Bakersfield Californian reports. Ochoa and others fled after an anonymous caller tipped the sheriff’s...

Arsonist Busted After Leaving Fingertip at Scene

Cops found Ismael Ortiz, not surprisingly, at a hospital

(Newser) - Ismael Ortiz left something kinda important behind after allegedly setting a Florida home on fire: the tip of his finger. Police found the evidence inside a latex glove; a detective says Ortiz slammed his finger in a door while fleeing the scene. They found Ortiz, 24, at a local hospital,...

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