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Late Night's Take on Wednesday Was Pretty Bleak

Colbert calls it 'a horrifying day that will go down in US history, however much longer that is'
By Kate Seamons,  Newser Staff
Posted Jan 7, 2021 6:18 AM CST

(Newser) – Wednesday's events were no laughing matter for Jimmy Fallon, who on the Tonight Show reviewed what unfolded at the Capitol with guest Dan Rather and had this to say: "Being here tonight and talking to you at home and reassuring you that we’re going to be OK and that this is not what our country is about is how I can help." Stephen Colbert was similarly serious, opening an "unexpectedly live" Late Show on what he described as "a horrifying day that will go down in US history, however much longer that is." He began by saying "I really want to do the show we're about to do, and I really don't want to do the show we're about to do, because Lord have mercy there are some dark subjects we talk about on the show occasionally but I've rarely been as upset as I am tonight, and I'm sure you are, too." More:

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  • He continued, "I really do hope you’re enjoying those tax cuts—and those judges, because those judges are really going to be working hard. They’re going to be busy throwing these idiots in jail—and by 'idiots' I include the Republicans who let this happen. Like you, Senator Josh Hawley, raising your stupid fist to the mob outside the Capitol. Look at that—it’s like 'Black Power' but the opposite. There really should be a name for that. And, obviously, he has to keep his fist closed, because if he opened it, you’d see all the blood on his hands."
  • He went after Fox News, too: "You think maybe years of peddling his conspiracy theories had anything to do with this? 'Oh, but c'mon man, you know we have our opinion side, and our news side, c'mon we're just trying to turn a coin for Uncle Rupie, you know, sell a few lubricated catheters.' Like those lubricated catheters, you know where you can stick your excuses, and you can skip the lubrication."
  • An equally serious Jimmy Kimmel got a little punchier on Jimmy Kimmel Live, thanking viewers "for joining us for the treason finale of the Donald Trump era." He pointed out that trespassers bizarrely stayed between the velvet ropes as "the Capitol was besieged by MAGA-hatters in all manner of crazy costumes. It was like a psychotic Price Is Right audience forcibly taking control of the 'Plinko' wheel."
  • On the Late Late Show, James Corden took on the subject of Trump's tweets, saying he "released a message this afternoon to tell those supporters that you're special, and we love you. I wouldn't want to even imagine his treatment or his response to those people if they had been wearing Black Lives Matter hats instead of red MAGA ones."
(Read more Stephen Colbert stories.)

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