If your idea of a good time involves meth, mangled attempts at bird calls, running around in your birthday suit until the law gets called, and then becoming an old headline-writing cliche, well, we bring you the case of Donald Watts, who, yes, is from Florida. As Action News Jax reports, cops were called to a residential complex in the aptly named High Springs where a woman told them Watts, 38, had been using meth. In this, another call comes in about a man in a neighbor's yard with a flashlight. Spotting a flashlight in the dark and hearing "strange noises," the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office arrest reports says that officers found Watts in a shallow creek "completely naked with mud covering his body," “pacing back and forth laughing,” and making "his attempt at bird noises.”
Police say that Watts then fled; when a deputy attempted to detain him, he punched the deputy repeatedly. A fair amount of tasing ensued, to no effect. Cops then deployed a K9 officer named Casper, at which point the report states that Watts "got on his hands and knees and began to growl like a dog." When Casper was ordered to nab Watts, Watts "leaped, grabbed Casper by the head and bit Casper’s ear as he drove Casper to the ground," per the report. Casper eventually escaped and bit Watts' head. Charges: simple battery of a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest with violence, and aggravated battery of a service dog. (More strange stuff stories.)
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