Everyone Hates SATC 2—a Lot

The reviews for Sex and the City 2 are in…and it’s possible they’re actually worse than the awful early reviews. The moans practically jump from the page:

• “Call this sequel callow, garish, ghastly, grisly or grotesque—and it is all of those things, plus borderline-interminable at 146 minutes," writes Joe Morgenstern for the Wall Street Journal.
• “We start seeing the sexually free Samantha as utterly pathetic,” opines Mick LaSalle in the San Francisco Chronicle, recalling a scene where she mimes oral sex on a hookah pipe. "Get real, folks. If a man wants a woman who'll behave in public like a 20-year-old prostitute, he'll find an actual 20-year-old prostitute.”

• “The zipper is broken, the heel has snapped, the Botox has hit the brain,” writes Julia Baird in Newsweek, proving it’s not just male reviewers who hated the “utterly lame” film. The characters’ self-involvement is “nauseating,” their obsession with expensive clothes and shoes “gross."
• “Some of these people make my skin crawl,” writes Roger Ebert in the Chicago Sun-Times. “The characters are flyweight bubbleheads living in a world which rarely requires three sentences in a row.” The features “more cleavage than at a pro wrestler's wedding. And crotches, have we got crotches for you.”

For more of the cattiest lines—including another female reviewer who moans, “I’m not asking for much. I just don’t want to be sick in my mouth.”—click here. (More Sex and the City stories.)