Who Will Be the Next Chuck Norris?

The new decade needs a new Chuck-like legend
By Kate Seamons,  Newser Staff
Posted Jan 10, 2010 5:16 AM CST
Who Will Be the Next Chuck Norris?
Dolph Lundgren: "Now we're on the lookout for Lundgren around every corner and that puts his previously-forgotten face" on the list.   (AP Photo/Christof Stache)

Chunk Norris is more than a legend—he's a meme, a man who can kill other men just by looking at them, and a conservative who helped Mike Huckabee lose an election, writes Drew Grant for Urlesque. But it's a new decade, which means it's time for a new Chuck. Some likely candidates:

  • Dolph Lundgren: This Swedish actor's claim to fame now includes more than his Rocky IV role—with recent spots in It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and Family Guy. A "Norris-esque reinvention" must be in the works.

  • Rick Allen: Def Leppard's one-armed drummer can do anything Chuck does better. Example: Rick Allen can sneeze with one eye open...but one-handed!
  • Warren Beatty: If he can have sex with 13,000 women, what can't he do?
  • The Situation: Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is a meme legacy in the making, and basically guaranteed to "go more viral than his Herpes symplex."
  • The Bear Jew: This Inglourious Basterds solider (aka Eli Roth) already has a Tumblr of "facts" about him, notes Grant, many of which are basically respun Chuck Norris facts. ("The Bear Jew invented violence—before the Bear Jew there were only stern looks.")

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