Late Night Takes Shots at J&J

News on rare development of blood clots after vaccination catches attention of Colbert et al
By Jenn Gidman,  Newser Staff
Posted Apr 14, 2021 7:33 AM CDT
Late Night Takes Shots at J&J
Screenshot from Colbert's monologue.   (YouTube/The Late Show)

On Tuesday, the FDA and CDC recommended a "pause" of the Johnson & Johnson COVID vaccine amid reports of rare blood clotting. Six women between the ages of 18 and 48 developed clots within a few weeks after receiving the J&J dose, out of nearly 7 million doses administered. The agencies want some time to investigate further, and while that's underway, the topic has found its way into the late-night monologues, per the New York Times. Jimmy Fallon kicked things off Tuesday by noting the word "pause" itself is worrisome: "Anyone who's ever been dumped was like: 'Oh, boy. We know what "pause" means,'" he noted. More from the after-hours gang:

  • Stephen Colbert, on one's chances of developing clots: "It's slightly better odds than you have of getting to visit Willy Wonka's Fantabulous Chocolate Factory, which, for the record, kills or maims four out of the five children who step foot inside."
  • Trevor Noah: "Yes, yes—you might have a 0.0001% chance of getting blood clots from this vaccine. But if you get coronavirus, you can get lung damage, heart damage, neurological damage, strokes, seizures, Guillain-Barre syndrome, immune disorders, erectile dysfunction and, get this, also blood clots."

  • Jimmy Kimmel on who's to blame: "I blame the second Johnson. He never graduated high school."
  • Fallon, on some sites administering the Pfizer vaccine instead of J&J's as a result of the news: "It's like going to a restaurant and hearing, 'We're out of Coke; is Dom Perignon OK?'"
  • Noah's take: "Pfizer and Moderna, those are drug companies; Johnson & Johnson makes baby shampoo. I'm surprised their s--- works at all."
  • James Corden, meanwhile, wins the late-night contest with his succinct riff on the single-dose vaccine: "Damn it, Johnson & Johnson, you had one jab!"
(More Johnson & Johnson stories.)

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