He Screamed 'Why Don't You Die!' Then, Embarrassment

Two legs good, eight legs bad—not one of the commandments from Animal Farm, but rather the deep-seated feelings of an Australian man whose reaction to a spider ended up drawing law enforcement to his home. Per the Guardian, a report came in to police that a passer-by strolling past a house in the Perth suburb of Wanneroo on Wednesday heard the screams of a toddler, along with a man yelling, over and over, "Why don't you die!" News.com.au has screenshots of the Wanneroo Police's Twitter post detailing the 911 call, which has since been deleted (reportedly because it hadn't been transcribed according to protocol).

An update from police about 15 minutes after the initial call was reported sheds some light on what had happened: "Police spoke with all parties who advised that husband had only been trying to kill a spider (has serious fear of spiders). Apologized for inconvenience to police. … No injuries sighted (except to spider). No further police involvement required." The flustered man isn't the only Aussie with arachnophobia: The Guardian cites a 2015 incident in which cops responded to reports of someone yelling "I'm going to kill you!," a woman's screams, and sounds of furniture being thrown. There was no woman: The man found inside the apartment in suburban Sydney admitted he'd just been trying to kill a spider and that the screams had been coming from him. (Suffer from arachnophobia? Don't go here.)