Cops: Man Tried Exorcism on Girlfriend, 80

A 54-year-old man in, of course, Florida is accused of trying to perform an exorcism on his 80-year-old girlfriend, reports the Tampa Bay Times. Police say David Edward Benes held down his live-in sweetie of three years while trying to "exorcise her and get the devil out of her." He also removed the batteries from the house phone, took her car keys, and monkeyed with the garage door so it wouldn't open. The woman is OK, save for some bruises and scratches on her arms, and Benes faces a slew of charges, including battery on a person 65 or older and false imprisonment. The Smoking Gun has a copy of the complaint affidavit, though it doesn't explain why Benes thought an exorcism was necessary. One clue might be that police found him passed out and drunk on the couch. (More exorcism stories.)