Jon Stewart: Virginia Bill Turns Women Into Popsicles

A Virginia Democratic delegate told the Richmond Times-Dispatch yesterday that he thought his Republican counterparts are "probably trying to figure out a way to get [the abortion bill brouhaha] off the front pages." Good luck with that. Jon Stewart last night was the latest to pile on in a "Punanny State" segment, in which he slammed the proposal in no uncertain terms—after, of course, reminiscing about seeing the "amazing" Transvaginal Ultrasound, a "15-member jazz-fusion chorus band," in 1994.

But then he got serious: Because a transvaginal ultrasound would be required at such an early stage in pregnancy, "any woman seeking an abortion must, whether she wants to or not, first lay back in a chair with her spread legs, feet in stirrups, and have an eight- to 10-inch wand put inside her—even if the woman in question is pregnant as the result of a rape," Stewart said. "I don't really have a joke here, I just thought I'd tell you." But there's some consolation—the woman doesn't have to look at the image! "Just set your iPod to shuffle, flip through a copy of Vanity Fair, and try to ignore the fact that you're being handled like a human popsicle." Watch the entire segment, which includes Clockwork Orange references, in the gallery. (More Virginia stories.)