Bill Maher’s Rules for 2012

Funnyman Bill Maher says he's still trying to finish off his New Year's resolutions from 1975, but he's got some rules the rest of America should follow in 2012—including one for Republicans. If you liked Donald Trump, and then proceeded to like Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Herman Cain, and Newt Gingrich, "you can still hate Mitt Romney, but you can’t say it’s because he’s always changing his mind," he writes in the New York Times.

Another Maher rule calls for a schedule change to stop the presidential election and Summer Olympics happening in the same year. "I get so exhausted watching those robotic, emotionally stunted, artificial-looking creatures with no real lives striving to do the one thing they’re trained to do that I barely have energy left to watch the Olympics," he quips. To solve America's problems, Maher decides, the country should be required to declare war on itself. "We have no money, and all our soldiers have come home from Iraq and they’ve all got experience building infrastructure, and no jobs." (More Election 2012 stories.)