Birthday Greetings Congress Wishes It Could Send Obama

President Obama is officially 50, and he rang in the milestone with a joke. At a fundraiser in Chicago last night—where he was feted by the likes of Jennifer Hudson, OK Go, and supporters willing to pay up to $35,800 a plate—Obama predicted what his first day as a 50-year-old would bring, notes the New York Times: "By the time I wake up, I’ll have an email from AARP, asking me to call President Obama and tell him to protect Medicare." The levity beats on in today's Washington Post, by way of Dana Milbank's takes on what select members of Congress would write in a birthday card to Obama. A sampling:

• Ron Paul: "You're almost ready for the death panel. (Kidding!)"
• Jon Kyl: "90% of men over age 50 have sex like rabbits (not intended to be a factual statement)."
• John McCain: "Here's some birthday straight talk, my friend: You're only half as old as Ronald Reagan. But he's dead."
• Dan Burton: "Happy Birthday, Mr. President. Can't believe it's been half a century since that day you were born in Kenya."

Click to read them all, and—bonus—see the great accompanying illustrations. (More President Obama stories.)