Kentucky Derby: Root for the Horse With No Balls

Comma To The Top is the people's champion
By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff
Posted May 6, 2011 1:30 PM CDT
Kentucky Derby: Root for Comma To The Top, He's Got No Balls
Jockey Corey Nakatani celebrates after Comma To The Top's win at the Grade I, $750,000 CashCall Futurity horse race Saturday, Dec. 18, 2010, at Hollywood Park in Inglewood, Calif.   (AP Photo/Benoit Photo)

Looking for a rooting interest at Sunday’s Kentucky Derby? Well, you should be cheering for Comma To The Top, argues Edward McClelland of Slate, for one simple reason: "He can’t produce sperm." Which means he’ll be able to race for another three years. “If early favorite Dialed In wins, he’ll retire at the end of the summer, and follow in the hoofprints of 2010 winner Super Saver, who is currently servicing mares for $20,000 a spasm.”

“I’m telling you this so you’ll understand what you’re watching Saturday,” McClelland writes. “The Kentucky Derby is a sperm pageant.” Winning increases stallions' stud fees so much that they invariably retire instantly. “The most exciting two minutes in sports is just a prelude to an even more exciting two minutes (or less) on a bluegrass country farm.” Not so for Comma To The Top. He’ll “experience that kind of excitement only on the racetrack. But we’ll get to experience it with him, for years to come.” (More Kentucky Derby stories.)

Get the news faster.
Tap to install our app.
Install the Newser News app
in two easy steps:
1. Tap in your navigation bar.
2. Tap to Add to Home Screen.