He's a Star, Other Summer Movie Lessons

By Will McCahill,  Newser Staff
Posted Apr 6, 2009 1:08 PM CDT

With this summer’s movie crop about to bear fruit, New York tells us what lessons we’ll be able to glean. Highlights:

  • Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a star: So charming in the romantic comedy 500 Days of Summer, audiences will “completely forgive his role in GI Joe: The Rise of the Cobra.”
  • Talking animals never fail: Those surprised by Beverly Hills Chihuahua’s box-office bite will “be dumbfounded when Disney’s G-Force, about an elite squad of world-saving guinea pigs, earns twice as much.”

  • Bankers will get killed kill at the box office: Johnny Depp’s turn in Public Enemies as a gangster who robs and shoots execs he deems responsible for the Great Depression is sure to strike a populist chord.
  • Giant robots and blasphemy are recession-proof:Da Vinci Code follow-up Angels & Demons and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will make unimagined amounts of money from people who didn’t think they had any.”
  • Cancer: still not funny: Even Judd Apatow, purveyor of “fart-happy bromances,” strikes out with Funny People, about a dying comedian.
For the rest of the list, including release dates, click the link below.
(Read more summer movies stories.)

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