5 Craziest Crimes of the Week

Among the lessons imparted by this week's batch of the craziest alleged criminals: Hang up the gosh darn phone once they close the airplane cabin door.

1. Flier Won't Get Off Phone, Is Dragged Off Plane: Another attempt to stay on the phone during takeoff did not end well for an airplane passenger Sunday. Lindsay Bien-aime allegedly refused to comply with multiple orders from the US Airways crew on the Fort Lauderdale-Charlotte flight to end her conversation. Then things got really interesting (and obscenity-filled). At 6:30am. In front of her kid.
2. Missing From Plane at JFK: $1.2M in $100 Bills: If anyone is flashing an endless wad of $100 bills in New York City in the next few days, the FBI would like a word. Among the mysterious elements of this heist: a crate containing an arm-sized hole.

3. Man Accused of Wild Theft: $2M in Toys 'R' U Toys: As far as thefts go, it's massive, and as far as suspects go, he's colorful. Police say Ignatius "Michael" Pollara stole some $2 million in toys from Toys 'R' Us stores ... then resold the goods to pay for exotic trips.
4. Man Recognizes Suspected Bank Robber: It's Mom! When it comes to citizens turning in accused criminals, it's hard to top this one. A Michigan man called police to tell them that he could ID the woman seen robbing a bank in surveillance photos: dear ol' mom.
5. 65-Year-Old Former Marine Fights Off Bank Robber: Yep, another bank robbery story. This heroic tale features a similarly unsuccessful-ending for the would-be thief.

(Read more weird crimes stories.)